


Caim

by cobaltdynasty



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Afterlife, Blind Ignis Scientia, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, King Noctis Lucis Caelum, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 06:30:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14710886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cobaltdynasty/pseuds/cobaltdynasty
Summary: It is a lesser known myth, one no longer told to the children of Eos, that the gods tie an invisible red cord around the ankles of those that are destined to meet. Whether it be under a bright sunlit sky or in a treacherous storm, one may help or sacrifice one's self for the sake of the other. The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, through time and space. But, they never break.





	Caim

 

* * *

 

It is more than bittersweet when you find yourself reminiscing about _him_ , particularly today when you decide to visit one of his favourite fishing spot on the outskirts of Crown City. After all, a particular someone has offered to drive you here after he managed to score himself a car of his own. Brand new, semi-trailer, contrasting his rather small physique with a colour that only matches his hair and bright smiles. You thought a smaller car would suit him better, but he insisted he would be more ready to give Cindy a hand with a bigger truck if she ever needs help at Hammerhead.

You remember smiling at his argument back then, only teasing him about his way of handling vehicles. He’s always appeared good-spirited, but behind all that smiles, you also sense sadness and pain.

Pain all too familiar to you, to everyone else who’ve known _him_ for more than the boy he was. Pain for a lost comrade. A lost friend. A lost brother. A lost King. And to you, more than anyone, a loss of self.

It is in these times, you feel glad that the visors hide whatever your eyes may convey. They can no longer see, but it doesn’t mean they can hide everything you feel. Emotions you almost always manage to control. Almost.

As soon as the both of you reach the edge of the hill, he apologizes again for not being able to keep you company, promising to return in precisely two hours just before it gets dark. You chuckle in response, reassuring the younger blond to take his time because after all, today is one rare occasion he receives a call from Hammerhand. How can he refuse when the girl of his dreams asks for a favour?

But, just as he was about to return to his car, he asks again, why here? It is true, of all the nearby fishing spots, there is nothing particularly remarkable about this place. Yes, it is serene, in a way where the water is clear and calm, but grow much darker in the near distant. As if it does not want you to see what lies beneath the surface. You can tell from his voice how confused he is trying to figure out why, though you can only imagine his face. The same slightly-raised eyebrow, probably with a sideway glance.

“It’s just a pond,” he mutters.

“I think it’s very much more than that, as borne out by the fact that he’s returned to it again and again,” you replied in disagreement.  
  
“Well, yes, maybe because it’s such a technical challenge. It’s the water, the play of light. The trickery. The fish, down below..”, and you realize both of you still fail to understand. A city boy, heir apparent to the crown, developing a liking to rivers and lakes and all its creatures beneath the sea down below. So you let silence fills the air in the hopes that maybe enough of it will help you find an answer.  
  
“I think it is more revealing than that. Beneath the tranquility and the elegance and the light playing on the surface, I saw honesty and pain, terrible pain. It seems as if he wanted us to see beneath all the muted colors, deep down in the water. Terrible despair. Hiding like a Leviathan. Like a sea monster.”  
  
\---

You found him staring back at you, eyes wide with shock and a tinge of fear, and perhaps guilt as he diverted them away the second they met yours. You would have thought he had anyone fooled by his current choice of attire, clad all in black from head to toe. By now he realized his disguise had failed, spotted by you of all people, the very person he was trying to avoid. The very person he could not have gotten away with any excuses, as to why was he sneaking out of his quarters with a particular car key in hand at just a quarter to midnight.

You thought your night would not drag on, least of all times when you tried your best today not to bring any administrative work home, a light briefcase, just a couple of documents to recheck. And you thought again, this was not the first time you decide to head home way past normal working hours either, so you asked him, even though you know any answer he gave would not be valid.  
  
“Where are you going?”  
  
There was a slight pause in his tone, but he answered you anyway, “Just out for a drive.”  
  
“At this hour?”  
  
This time there was no reply, at least not immediately after you stood your silence waiting for an explanation.  
  
“Look, I couldn’t sleep, not here of all places, I told you it’s better to go back to the mansion after the meeting is done. I always sleep better there, you know it.”  
  
This time you found yourself struggling to come up with the right response. There was a bit of truth there. One thing you know what he was perfectly capable of doing was dozing off literally anytime anywhere, anywhere but here. Perhaps it was the atmosphere, the air of formality that must not ever be broken, a constant reminder to the teenage boy of what his life will be like for the rest of his life.  
  
_The rest of his life_. If only you knew better.  
  
Before you knew it you found yourself explaining again to him how there would be another council meeting early in the morning, and that the King himself demanded his son to attend, it would be more appropriate for him to stay at the Citadel since it was a period of college break after all. “Besides, there is no harm in spending an extra day with your King Father at the Citadel, don’t you think?”  
  
“Yeah, yeah. I got it.”  
  
You could only let out a small sigh back then, thinking perhaps you had placed too much at his plate. But, even too much was never enough.  
  
“Look, Iggy. I’m heading out no matter what you’ll say, so are you coming along? I could use some company anyway.”  
  
Years spent time together with him taught you one thing, his way of dealing with his struggle. A constant battle he never admit nor tell anyone, even to those closest to him. A constant battle of trying to be the person everyone expected him to be, something you or any other person could never truly understand no matter how much you try. It was not in you the royal blood flowed, and it was not anyone else the Crystal chose.  
  
Knowing it is one thing, but knowing what it meant is an entirely different matter.  
  
You never needed time to think, if he decided to be outside the Citadel at this hour at least he would have you to protect him.  
  
The elevator arrived with a soft ding. He stepped inside signaling you to also join him, pressing both B1 and close button impatiently. In the silent long ride down you felt both sad and proud. Seeing the small boy who used to cradle into your arms when you woke him up for his study, always demanding that he had five more minutes of sleep; now growing up almost to your height, perhaps much more able to defend himself. You had never doubted it once, the potential he had and all those times he continued to surprise you during his sparring with Gladio. You thought perhaps he would need you less, and that made you sad.  
  
It was not a question of whether or not he could protect himself from harm.  
  
It was more about you protecting him from himself.  
  
And as the elevator opened wide at the underground basement, you hoped tonight that danger would not greet you both.  
  
It didn’t take him long to remember the parking layout considering he had almost never set foot on the basement floor before. Yet, he walked directly towards a nearby VIP Parking area, a particular spot solely placed for any vehicle belonging to the prince. Even after seeing it so many times, you always found yourself in awe of the masterpiece lying in front of you. A black beauty clad in steel, shining reflections far brighter than any other cars around it. Star of Lucis Audi R8, custom-made solely for the heir to the crown as a gift from his King Father.

It was odd indeed, how the King always appeared stern and strict at most times, yet showing such gentle and thoughtful bearing towards his son. This was one of the many gifts he had given, rather a surprise to his teenage son too.  
  
Immediately he went for the driver’s seat before you could offer yourself to drive. It only took a moment for you to join next to him before he went for the ignition. A loud roar swallowing up the dead silence, and letting the car slide out of its cage passing the Citadel gates. He stopped for a brief second to only let the guards on duty notice him before they open the gates in submission, to your surprise, not theirs.  
  
Being a prince is one thing, but the Citadel had always been a heavily guarded place. It is not just a building, it is a palace, a home for a King, a home for his family, a home for the divine Crystal. Finding a way in or out was not easy particularly after certain hours. And you wonder how many times before had he done this outside your knowledge.  
  
As he let the car gained speed you noticed he was aiming for a highway bound South.  
  
You never liked this part of him. The abrupt lane change, how he only managed to brake half a second too late, how unfocused he seemed to be of his surroundings; loud bass reverberating from a state-of-the-art sound system he had only asked you to install several weeks past from the best audio garage in the city. Yet, you took your time to adapt. The only thing holding you back from a launching a series of lectures was figuring out where he planned to go.  
  
Checkpoints after checkpoints, further away from the city central, for almost an hour, before you finally asked him.  
  
“Noct, if I may, do you actually have a particular destination in mind?”

He didn’t divert his gaze away from the road, but eventually slowed down both his speed and music as the both of you approached the outer walls of Insomnia towards its final checkpoint.  
  
“Not really, probably not far.”  
  
That’s when you decided to warn him, you knew he would not like it, but it was your duty. To always alert him of any danger whether small or big, to always remind him to have his best interest aligned with his safety, to always protect and stand by him should anything befall him.  
  
“Okay, okay, Specs. Geez. I said not far.” He muttered in frustration.  
  
He was telling the truth after all, as he pulled over and got off in the middle of nowhere as soon as you both crossed the bridge connecting Insomnia and Leide. Even in the dark you could see the dust unwilling to settle in the distant. Insomnia had always been well protected by the wall. But out here, there is no telling what lies in the wilderness, and what may come out from the darkness. It may had been a protective instinct, you adjusting your glasses, scanning everything in the corner of your eye, paying more than enough attention to the sound of leaves rustling in the wind, not even one living creature was around. The only sound you heard were of your footsteps in the dirt following him, and you always made sure those were the only sound of footsteps you heard.  
  
“Relax, Specs. Ha, you should’ve seen the look on your face right now.” His voice caught you by surprise, and more so when you saw him slightly smiling at you.  
  
You were always slightly too tense. You feared for his safety too much. But seeing his smile after a long silent ride, you could tell he felt better now. Whatever it was that haunted his mind a while back, perhaps he managed to let them all go for now. And that made you happy.  
  
Seeing him smile, always made you happy.  
  
You gave him a short lecture nonetheless, he only nodded but continued on walking anyway. Before long, something caught your ear, a familiar sound of nearby water crashing onto water, but it seemed as though the prince had known of this place before. A very small river bank, below the edge of the hill. Just when you thought he would indulge in his leisure hobby, he sat on the grass gesturing you to join him.  
  
You pondered at the thought, had he been here? Were he fishing?  
  
So you probed.  
  
“Nah, I didn’t even bring my fishing gear today. Besides, there are no edible fish here, only those small ones you can barely cook them.” He answered lazily, though his eyes always shone a playful kind of light when he talked about angling.  
  
“So you have been here before.” You smiled slightly, you caught an answer from him, as you thought you would.  
  
“Tch.” This time he only looked back at you sideways before throwing himself flat on the grass beneath him.  
  
And that’s what you loved about him. His innocence. Despite his waywardness, he had always remained pure. Something only few people around him managed to see through his mask.  
  
You urged him to go back as soon as possible, after yet another long lecture of how any of his lone trips could have ended gravely. Pity, this time you gave this young boy a couple more minutes. An hour. You too, became aware of the feeling of soft grass supporting your body, inhaling deeply the beautiful scenery of the millions of stars above you both.  
  
“It’s only this far from the city, but it really looks different isn’t it?”  
  
“Indeed. Perhaps when the war is over, you ought to go out and see the world more.” His eyes spoke of sorrow the more you talked. Not at your words, but at the notion of war probably continuing in his lifetime. It was in these rare moments, looking at his beautiful face and eyes glowing in the dark, you could never make out what was in his mind. Even as the City of Insomnia shone brightly in the distant, you could think of nothing else but a silhouette of his face showing a more serious side to him. Regal, yet fragile, as he talked about the view of the world from his eyes. It was a serene view, almost too perfect for you to take in.  
  
Not before long, your speech was ignored, followed by small shallow breaths he let out in his sleep.  
  
You couldn’t help but smile, “You were right, you sleep better anywhere else but at your own home.”  
  
As you gently brushed his hair away from his eyes, you heard a small murmur from the boy. “Five more.. minutes.” And for a change, you told yourself to let him be, perhaps just five more minutes for you to let all this sink in, the innocent boy who longed to breathe in freedom, and the small measure of peace he deserved.

\---  
  
You are beginning to feel hazy as you notice few droplets of rain on your cheek. Your immediate reaction is to wake him up, hurry you both back to the car and the Citadel before any of you catch a cold, and before letting further danger creep closer as the night went on.  
  
Careless of you to have fallen asleep, but, as you stand, you realize there is no stars or clouds in sky above you. Only darkness.  
  
It strikes you hard. More than enough times, but it never felt easier for you. _It was a just another dream_ , your only words of comfort. By now your hair and clothes are drenched from the light rain, but they are the least of your concern.  
  
Ten years ago, it took you all you had to stop reminding. Reminding a certain someone of the rain, of the cold, of his drenched clothing, of his eating habits, of his morning schedules, of his dangerous driving, of his reckless movements in battle, of his everything. Ten years ago, when you lost him, it took you all you had to accept that you could only wait. And in your darkness, you waited. With what little hope everyone else had, you always believed he would return. And if the prophecy came true, you thought to yourself, the prophecy be damned. He would definitely come back regardless of what was written.

And if you ought to spend a lifetime waiting, then a lifetime it will be.

Even after you lost him again two years ago, you would still gladly go through it all over again. Another lifetime if it meant being able to see him once more.  
  
Everyday has been a struggle, both to relive and escape your haunting memories of him. To your irony, they now feel more real, you are able to recall every single detail, even the vivid memories of blue stretching wide to the horizon, the sky and the sea merging and all you hear is his delightful calling of landing a big catch, and that you ought to cook him his favourite Baramundi fillet there and then.

But now, all of your oceans are expanding, and you continue to sink in. You keep asking yourself as if asking enough questions will one day give you an answer.

 _Are you happy now, Noct?_  
  
You look up to your dark sky, thinking whether rain is in fact a blessing from the gods, letting people find joy in the change of seasons after a decade of darkness. If it is, then perhaps _he_ is speaking to the gods right now to grant us rain.

You smile to the thought, thinking it will be okay not to wipe your tears away, he won't be able to tell from the rain on your cheeks.   
  
That’s when you feel uneasy. If anything this darkness has given you is your sharper instincts towards anything else. It is not danger you sense. It is something else. Something you can’t entirely be sure of nor explain. And for a brief moment you stand there frozen as you listen to a familiar sound of footsteps you have not heard in a while. You can never see to be sure, but you are. Even in the rain, you can tell the slight limp he always walk with since his childhood injury, how they disturb the rough sand unevenly through his unrhythmical pace, half dragging each step lazily as he always did. With each step closer to you than the one before.  
  
You must have stood in the rain for too long, you keep telling yourself again and again, whether you are still dreaming or that it is all just in your head, just as it had happened countless times in your sleep. You dare not say his name.

“Noct?”  
  
You dare not call out to him, but you do only to hold your breath again, afraid as if exhaling the slightest bit of air will chase away his lingering presence.  
  
There is utter silence, one you are afraid to break.  
  
Several seconds feel like an eternity to you, locked in a reality as fragile as glass, soon broken by the sound of his smile under his breath before he disappears.  
  
“Noct? Noct! It is you, isn’t it?”

You thought you must be going crazy, standing there trying to listen again to any sound that make you believe he was there and still is. Were you wrong again? Perhaps you can no longer trust your senses as much. As you chase what is left of his shadow in the distance, he is nowhere to be found. You keep calling out for him, hoping you will eventually run into him somewhere along the shores.  
  
“Just answer me. Just let me know it is you, it will be enough,” is all you could manage to whisper into thin air.

The light drizzle now growing steadily into a downpour, certainly a solemn reply from the sky. The sound of every drops refined in an orchestra of rain.  
  
“Iggy! What are you doing there?”  
  
It feels like a stab to the heart, thinking it is a reply you so desperately hope for before realizing it was Prompto calling out for you from the top of the hill. You must have run a long way, judging from the sound of his very distant voice.  
  
You don’t know why, you feel the urge to let everyone know. You are sure of it this time, no matter what anyone else may think. “Prompto! He was here! Help me find him!”  
  
“What? Here? I can’t hear you!”  
  
He’s close enough to see your panic and distress, but not enough to understand what you’re trying to say. Gasping for breath himself, he runs as fast as he can towards you after making a long slide down the edge of the hill. But all you get is denial. Denial and assurance when you realize they both mean the same thing. No matter how much you object, how your senses never failed to guide you in your darkness, only you knew how much you grow to depend on them as your sight. It was just your imagination, he said.  
  
“Iggy.. he’s gone. I know it is hard for you to accept, it’s hard for me too. Hell, it’s hard for everyone. But, he’s gone, Iggy.”  
  
Perhaps, you thought, he is right. You can tell from the sound of his voice he was not only sad for his lost brother, but for you.  
  
Perhaps it was a ghost of _him_ sent by the gods as a punishment you have to endure.  
  
A punishment for what? For taking what was not rightfully yours? Taking in the power of the Ring in your hands knowing it may end you? Was the blood price not enough? You would gladly pay any price if it meant you could keep him safe.  
  
But what about now?  
  
What is power if it doesn’t give you the strength to change the course of _his_ fate?  
  
“C’mon, let’s head back. The rain won’t let up anytime soon.” He forces himself to be the stronger person now, bringing you both back from reminiscence, into the harsh routine of reality your King had exchanged his life for. “So, did you catch anythin’? I’m sorry I came over late. There was a tiny bit of problem back at the garage, I couldn’t-“  
  
“Prompto, do you think he’s smiling on us now?”  
  
The abrupt change takes him by surprise, he doesn’t know how to respond. It is the first time he hears this coming from you after all. You can never escape your longing.  
  
As you follow him back, you throw a final gaze towards the other side of the shore as if turning your back would help you gain a vision of what lies in front of you. You imagine darkness enveloping the vastness open as midnight draws near, feeling thankful that tonight’s darkness once again fail to swallow you and you get to live through another day. Living just like yesterday. Living and existing. Picking up every pieces you try to put back knowing they will be shattered when you wake up every morning. However many more nights like this you decide to endure.  
  
When Prompto asks you, the moment your feet makes a thud hitting a box of fishing gear, you can’t help but be confused.  
  
“Iggy, are you hurt? You were bleeding?”  
  
No. You dismissed his notion straight away, half-insane you may be, but you are sure you are physically fine.  
  
Rushing to pack up your portable chair and small umbrella shade, you can feel he keeps looking at you, questioningly, as if it is something completely ordinary for him to worry about his fellow brother. And maybe it is, you let out a deep sigh and let his next choice of words shatter the composure you thought you had regained.  
  
“No? They’re not yours? Then, whose blood is this?”  
  
And for the first time in a long time, you curse the blackness surrounding you, wanting to see the red stain splattered on the ground in front of you as they slowly wash away in the rain.  
  
Both of you freeze in thought.  
  
“He was here.”  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> // Conversations at the beginning of this chapter are taken from The Crown, Season 1 Episode 9//

**Author's Note:**

> Based on FFXV original ending. Eventual MxM. This is my first FFXV fics, uhh serious fic, not fluff. Written in Ignis's point of view third person, writing style inspired by one of the greatest writers I admire. If I have you confused, it means I have failed miserably. Comments and kudos are always loved =D and by all means, i hope you enjoyed it!


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